The hole left behind cannot be filled by anything or anyone. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and random reminders bring back the pain of them not being here. There are financial issues face. All the things they used to do and now you have to do it all. Things that were never your strong point. And when you do them you miss them even more. The pain keeps going on and on. You feel like you just can't move, can't breathe, and this is just one never ending day. It's hard to sleep and hard to be awake. You just go numb it's easier that way. Then what do you do with their stuff, so many memories, hard to let go, hard to hold on.
When you lose the one you love you are suddenly alone. Not only do you lose the person who knew you best, but was also your best friend. You feel lost, confused, foggy, and nothing makes sense anymore. Everything is sad, You find comfort in talking to strangers. Your burst into tears any time and for no reason. Everything reminds you of them. You feel angry at them for leaving when they did. Frustrated that no one seems to understand what you are going through. Mad at the world for going on when you can't. Desperate to feel like you again, and yet knowing you will never be you again. Maybe a different you, but who is that?
(I coach in person, on the phone, using Skype or Zoom.)
You really wish that people would just come and be with you. Not fix anything, just listen and hold you in a loving space. You want people to understand that grief takes time and how long that takes is for you to know not something society dictates. You still wish things were the way they used to be, but you know that dream has died with them. You wish people would help when you asked for it and not when they want to. You want people to not say the all the cliche things that have no meaning and just end up making you mad. You just want family and friends to understand you are in pain.A pain that has no words and no one understands unless they have lived it.
Welcome! I'm Bridget Hill, CPCC, ACC, a Certified Co-Active Life Coach, specializing in helping you find peace after the death of a spouse or partner. Grief is different for everyone. There is no timeline. You must go through it in a way that is right for you. Death transforms those left behind. You will not be the same, and your life will never be the same. It will be something new. And you can find peace. Read more...
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